Having legislation does not mean seizing freedom. Those rules will surely guide the discipline of family members and help everyone to live in harmony without violating the rules.
Sharmila, a Chennai-based doctor and psychologist, and her teenage daughter Ashley take parenting training for parents and teenagers. Those who have so far performed changes in more than ten thousand families. In her chapter, Vikatan Magazine, 13 chapters have been shared by Ashley as the voice of her peers to parents who criticize their children, and Sharmila as the voice of the parent community about the problems parents feel and the changes they expect from teenagers. Dr. Sharmila and her daughter Ashley talk to every Wednesday as there is still plenty to share about parenting and teenage relationship problems.
Ashley – Sharmila
Dr. Sharmila
It’s a bit of weird fantasy, but let’s try it …
A country … there is no government to rule, no laws to impose, no restrictions, what if you can be whatever you want to be? Just imagine …

At first, you think, ‘Damn what a happy life … no one to question … no rules and regulations … no one can control anyone … how blissful such an independent life can be? But you will soon realize that reality is not like that. That life without any legislation and restrictions will not be free. Rather it will exacerbate problems and challenges. None of the people of that country are likely to be at peace. The same rule applies to families.

Think about it … Is there discipline in a family when there are no rules, no one can control anyone, and no one can behave the way they want to? Having specific rules, regulations, and legislation for each family does not mean seizing freedom. Those rules will surely guide the discipline of family members and help everyone to live in control without violating the rules.

Is the insistence that people follow traffic rules when traveling in public places a restriction on our freedom? Do we see it as a matter of ensuring security for ourselves and those around us? Such are the rules and regulations for the family.

Sharmila, Ashley

Things you should consider when creating family rules …
– Remember that this is like you creating a very important document.
– It should be a set of guidelines that include your family’s values and expectations. Look at this as a living document.
– You can add new rules or adjust the boundaries from time to time as needed.
– Sit down and talk openly with all the people in your family before creating a document like this. Discuss your expectations, dreams, goals, etc.
– Be open about how you and your family members want to be.
– Allow all family members to talk and contribute about it, without taking away the right of one person to make the rules.
– Listen to everyone’s words and create this document accordingly.

After creating the rules …
Make documenting the code of conduct for your family a group activity with your children and family members.
Also, ask what others think should be included in the protocol.
Make it clear to your children that those ethics should be such as to emphasize your expectations, responsibilities, and obligations as parents. At the same time if your children feel any discomfort in those matters listen to them.

By classifying ethics as such for the family it is easy to point out that when someone does something contrary to or against family values it is against our family ethics and is not allowed here.

Sharmila – Ashley


“At first I was surprised and a little shocked when my mother told me about the family rules. I was angry and said, “Fate in the house … that’s all.” But, Mom patiently explained to me its importance. If it is the rule of the family, it is not a matter of restricting children to ‘do it, do it. That said, the general rules apply to family members as a whole. There is no rule that says, ‘If we go outside our house, we will return home at this time … it will only be told to you … to everyone in the house … that’s the rules of alcoholism ‘. Nowadays I know that if I do this the result will be like this and I will decide whether to do it or not.
Arguments that start and end with “whether our family knows this is not going to work out” are not coming to us these days.
– Happy Parenting